so i neeeever get on this anymore. college is college. i love it and i hate it. i'm pissed because my badass film review of wall-e didn't save so i'm up trying to rewrite it. fuck fuckfuck. i'm a mess. finals next week, then i'm freeeee for 3 weeks! oh, irvine. i'll miss you, though.

it's so crazy how people you used to know reappear in your life. i need to get my shit straight. make up my mind. apparently i underestimated myself all throughout high school, so i'm ready to live up to what i was intended to do. the people i've met are the best. the friends i have who still bother talking to me are the only ones that matter now. i'm excited for winter and for a new year. :]

i will be headstrong. i will move on from everything. as much as it hurts now, it won't in the future, and realizing that is the key to my success and my maturity. i will bite my tongue or put my hand over my mouth when i need to. i WILL say no to you. every day, screening your calls and your texts will get easier and easier, and when i leave for college things will DEFINITELY be the same but with more clarity. i won't hold a grudge, but i'm not looking for a friendship. you were the best and worst thing that i've had as far as relationships, but i'm not beating you dead with a stick anymore. i deserve better than you could have ever given me. than you could have even realized i deserved. but one day, eventually, you will be the one thing that didn't get handed back to you on a silver plate. the one thing you couldn't get back. the steady realization of how alone you are and how much you need(ed) me will sink in. but by this time, i will be long gone. and very, very fucking happy.

they say that people in life are seasons,
and everything that happens is for a reason.